Lucid dream sex

Lucid Dream Sex: Pros & Cons

A lucid dream sex scene from D. Rudoy’s Martina Flawd: a Book on Lucid Dreaming, Astrology & Love

It was a dream, but I was wide awake. I heard everything; in fact, my audial perception sharpened to such an extreme I could map out the entire cabin, its animate and inanimate contents, by the noises filtered from beneath the drone of the engines. And yet all that input blanched in comparison with the spectacle unfolding before me, in which I was also a most active participant.


It’s hard to describe where we were. We seemed to float in a space pierced by a multitude of incandescent threads issuing from a world-renowned painter’s acid trip. Paradoxically, the intensity of the colors was in no way distracting; on the contrary, it felt integral to the moist tangle surrounding my darling and me. I promise to keep my language reasonably discrete, but if you are afraid of your sensibilities being affronted, do skip to the words “When I opened my eyes”.


An astute man once said everything in this world is about sex, except sex. Molly and I proved this a lie. What happened between us in that mental projection was nothing but sex for the sake of sex, even though the word “sex” was a euphemism. The two of us fucked like the two insatiable maniacs we were, first fucking until it hurt, then fucking while it hurt, and finally fucking so that it would stop hurting. She lost herself as soon as I pulled her hair, running my knuckles down her neck, and when I reached her chest she went berserk, daring me to tear her to shreds and laughing in my face, implying I would never be able to. I relished the challenge, oscillating between the animalistic and the superhuman, equilibrium evading me. I knew that my only chance was to strike a rhythm in unison with her, an impossible task given how fitful she was. I myself had been notorious for changing rhythm in sex, but she was something out of this world. Perpetually in motion, wriggling and squirming, constantly shifting between fast, faster and fastest, she flowed like quicksilver, enshrouding me and estranging herself in one move, ever a step ahead of my next thought. Then I realized that matching her uncontrolled madness was tantamount to self-destruction and, empowered by this epiphany, grabbed her by the throat, her lower half contorting and undulating, and began setting my own tempo. She fought ferociously, doing her best to disrupt me with uncensored chaos, but it crushed against my intent while I held her in an iron grip. Worn down by my unyielding determination, her convulsive, unpredictable movements slowed until I was flooded by a spectacular sensation. I felt my body dissolve into Martina’s, her feelings blending with mine, before I saw that we were no longer two people; in fact, we weren’t people at all. We had become a tight knot of energy linked to every incandescent thread, and the mere awareness of that fact filled me with an unimaginable ecstasy that cancelled notions of time and space—I knew nothing other than the uniform bliss I was submerged in, a constant that had always been and would always be.

Lucid dream sex

There’s a saying among lucid dreamers: don’t have lucid dream sex, have sex in real life. And it’s true, although many people find it puzzling for all sorts of reasons. For example, sometimes we want to sleep with people who don’t want us, so having lucid dream sex is the only option. Not to mention celebrities that we can’t even get close to. Lucid dream sex does seem like a good choice, doesn’t it?

Well, like with many things in life, the answer is “yes and no”.

The pros of lucid dream sex

What happened between us… was nothing but sex for the sake of sex, even though the word “sex” was a euphemism.

This section is short because it’s all obvious: you don’t need the other person’s consent to have lucid dream sex with them, and yet you don’t do anything wrong. You can do whatever you want, including things you’d hardly tell anyone about. Insert any or all of the other 100 reasons that made you search for lucid dream sex here.

There’s just one thing I’d mention. Since the physical and ethereal bodies don’t partake in it, lucid dream sex is a purely emotional experience (because the astral body that’s responsible for emotions is your dreaming body itself), so if you hit all the right notes in all the right places a fifteen-second encounter can eclipse your entire sex life to date. Also, I’ve heard stories about women struggling to reach an orgasm in real life come like a freight train during lucid dream sex, which might be a nice bonus if you haven’t considered it already.

The cons of lucid dream sex

When you have lucid dream sex you’re only screwing yourself.

To understand the fundamental con of lucid dream sex, you need to remember that, as a beginner, your lucid dream is only a playground created by your own imagination. Now, the sources of inspiration can be very different (for example, some argue that your soul gets access to alternative dimensions within a multiverse), but even if you do construct a world drawn from a separate reality, it is still a simulation. Meaning that any dream character (except scouts: more on them later) has nothing to do with the real people they resemble. Meaning that what you really have sex with within a standard lucid dream is your own projection(s).

In other words, even though it doesn’t feel like it, when you have lucid dream sex you’re only screwing yourself.

There are two notable exceptions to that.

One is having lucid dream sex with the dreaming body of another lucid dreamer (either in your dream, or in theirs), and I’m only putting it in the cons because it’s like giving acid to someone who’s never had a drink before. Some people think Martina Flawd is about sex (probably because of how much of it there’s in it), but they miss the point: what you can do with your dreaming body when you flay it into shape. But this is something that’s so hard for so many different reasons that you probably shouldn’t worry about this just yet.

The other is lucid dream sex with a scout.


A scout is an independent perceptual entity that enters your consciousness during sleep and often takes an active part in it under the disguise of a character to whom you have a strong emotional attachment. Naturally, someone you want to have lucid dream sex fits the profile perfectly, and if you ever had ordinary sex dreams you most likely were screwing with scouts (or, rather, they were screwing you, feasting on the exorbitant emotional energy you released in the process and, possibly, learning things about you that you don’t know yourself).

The problem is that in ordinary dreams you’re nothing but prey, but the awareness needed to maintain a lucid dream significantly increases your defenses, so (1) scouts are less frequent in dreams of those who practice lucid dreaming on a regular basis, and (2) when you isolate a scout, there is literally no space for romance. So, if you ever were thoroughly disappointed when you tried to have lucid dream sex with a desirable character and the dream collapsed while the character turned into something repulsive, don’t be: you probably busted a scout, which doesn’t happen to them often.

But if the scout didn’t collapse under the pressure of your dreaming awareness… well, congratulations! I usually don’t have lucid dream sex because of time value (more on that later), but once I did it with a scout that didn’t collapse (I didn’t realize it was a scout until later). There is no point describing that experience, so I’ll just say this: I consider myself very lucky with the sexual partners that I had, but my whole top-5 doesn’t add up to that one fleeting lucid dream rendezvous.

Time value

But, disheartening as the thoughts of screwing yourself or seeing a beautiful scout turn into a frog could be, in my opinion, the main disadvantage of lucid dream sex is that it wastes precious time.

Even experienced lucid dreamers can only maintain a lucid dream for so long. The window is usually limited to a few minutes (as measured by your dreaming body counting “one, two, there…”), and even in Nolan’s Inception (2010) the lucid dreaming superelite had to leverage synthetic drugs to prolong their uninterrupted stay to hours. Now, given how valuable every second of lucidity is, are you sure you want to spend it on sex?

Think about it. Lucid dreaming allows you to cross the Universe within a blink of an eye, and I mean traveling to the actual galaxies, not to your mental projections of them. However, in order to learn how to do it, you need a lot of practice. And, while lucid dream sex can be a wonderful experience far exceeding reality, it hardly makes you a much better lucid dreamer. Sure, you’ll learn to tame your emotional explosions and prevent them from waking you up, but that alone won’t get you too far. So, if lucid dreams are only a fun hobby letting you have sex with otherwise inaccessible people among other cool things, you may not even consider this a problem. But if you want to learn things most people can’t even imagine, my advice is to leverage lucid dream sex for what is it (an exercise in maintaining awareness despite powerful outbursts of excitement) and move on.

There’s so much more out there in the unknown, none of us has even the vaguest idea.

D. Rudoy — NJ, USA — 12/8/2021

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